A woman recently called her local LGBTQ community center as if it was “gay animal control” and asked if they could do anything to get her gay neighbor to stop harassing her.
Jackson Whitt, a man who works at the Utah Pride Center in Salt Lake City, shared a TikTok video playing the woman’s voicemail.
“We get a lot of crazy phone calls,” Whitt says. “But this is my favorite voicemail we’ve gotten so far.”
In her message, the woman mentions her name and then says, “I’m having trouble with a gay man I’ve known for a while, and he’s bothering me and I’d like to report him to you… And I know you can help me so that he no longer bothers me.”
After playing her voicemail, Whitt commented, “She called us like we were gay animal control to remove the troublesome gay from her neighborhood!”
In a follow-up video, Whitt said the woman called the Pride Center again before he could call her back, saying the gay man in question had been living across from her for years.
‘He is bad. He is bad. He’s satanic,” Whitt says, of the woman’s complaint. “And he harassed her, but she can’t prove it.”
The woman apparently said the gay man had “energy machines in his house that fired electrical pulses” through his window into her window to harm her. She then said that the gay man had also been given one of these machines for his neighbor.
“I felt two of them hit me right in the chest recently,” she reportedly told Whitt. Whitt exclaimed, “She’s being shot by gay lasers through her living room window!”
When Whitt told her that the Pride Center doesn’t really deal with such issues, he asked if she’d tried to talk to authorities.
“She goes, ‘that is a smile. They will never do anything,” Whitt said. “And for the first time in this conversation I thought, ‘Yeah, Turn right girl?'”
However, the woman said she had discussed it all with her Mormon religious leaders. Then she asked Whitt to talk to someone named “Pastor Jimi” because he “knows all about these machines.”
Whitt sought out the pastor and messaged him expressing his deep concern for the woman’s mental well-being, asking if he knew the woman or if they should contact someone to do a health check for her own safety
“Pastor Jimi works in one of those churches where they wear flip flops and everyone has an acoustic guitar, and some of them wear crystals as deodorant,” Whitt said. “And you know what? Pastor Jimi didn’t even bother to email me back. Pastor Jimi, that’s not very ‘man of the sheet’ from you. And when I say ‘the cloth’ I mean a Tommy Bahama button -down.”
Comedy aside, the World Health Organization has said that more than 20 percent of adults age 60 and older suffer from a mental or neurological disorder, including conditions such as paranoia. Previous studies have shown that elderly people sometimes call and complain to care providers out of fear or loneliness.
While her neighbor is unlikely to be firing lasers into her house, it’s likely she’ll need some genuine help.
But now that I think about it, maybe her desire for “gay animal control” isn’t such a bad idea: We’ve seen quite a few unruly otters and bears wreaking havoc at local waterholes.