NEVER AFTER APPLY
A. It sounds like dating apps are giving you the worst kind of dating fatigue. It’s great that you know that. (Yay for self-awareness.)
That said, if you’re really concerned about meeting people and want to be on apps for that practical reason (as opposed to the rush), there are some options for less stimulation. Some apps are designed to limit your browsing options to a few people per day. The last time I looked, Coffee Meets Bagel was one of them. In real life, at a party, you wouldn’t consider 40 to 100 people as potential dates. Could be you would talk to a few people and move on. That’s a little rush. If you can replicate that experience online, it might be better for your brain. Look for apps that set boundaries for you.
Remember that people meet in real life. Now is a good time to tell people you’re open to constellations. Maybe you’re working with a few friends and thinking of ways to introduce each other to new people in your larger communities.
It can also help to focus on an activity you love and broaden your world, even with friends. That’s a great feeling — doing something fun with good company. Sometimes it leads to more.
Dating apps burn everyone. I think it’s much easier to meet people organically when you’re in college or just after college, so maybe you can focus more on expanding your circle of friends or doing activities you really enjoy. If you feel like you need to use the apps, I suggest you limit yourself to just one of them.
I’m too old and married too long to know anything about dating apps, but I’ll share what a young guy near me did, and it seems like a great idea. He is 30 years old, single, lives in a house nearby. A few times a year, he posts in the NextDoor app that he’s throwing a party for anyone who wants to stop by. BYOB (I think he puts out a barrel and some food, but people bring stuff or leave some money). It’s open to everyone, he says, come to meet neighbors, make new friends, bring friends from elsewhere, whatever. Really outgoing, friendly guy, great at connecting people with people. I hear every time over 100 people show up. I know several people who go there to meet people so far and I think it has worked out really well for them. It doesn’t have the pressure or expense of sitting in a bar all night, and it’s definitely more personal than dating apps.
When I was dating, I was on a lot of apps and saw the same people on all of them. Eventually I got to know someone organically. Find a part-time job in a bar or coffee shop where you can meet people your own age. Go to Meetup events (yes, this is an app but not a dating app) and go hiking or whatever you like to do. Lots of ways to meet people that don’t include dating apps.
Recommendation: Stay out of the apps and learn to live with the FOMO.
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